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Late Night with Conan O'Brien

It's very exciting inside a toilet.
-Fred Savage, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 2/24/99

If you let me hump you, I'll give you a ticket.
-Andy Garcia, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 2/18/99

I am a butt technician.
-Mike Myers, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 6/18/99

My butt goes in. I keep coins in it.
-Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 12/29/99

Don't turn on me -- I'm the only friend you have. Maybe.
-Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 12/29/99

This show should be all sports bloopers. We'd be screwed.
-Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 12/30/99

I'm the only celebrity fueled completely by pity.
-Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 1/4/00

Finally -- a sensible penis.
-Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 2/29/00

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