I just felt so weird being told to kiss someone I didn't want to kiss. I almost felt whorish, being told what to do in a sexual way. I guess if I had surrendered completely to my character, I wouldn't have felt that way. But I couldn't. And I think it would be even harder if I had a boyfriend. I was thinking, I hope I get married someday, and then how would I feel? It would probably be worse.
...I think that when a moderate man comes upon the words or actions of a good man in his narrative, he'll be willing to report them as if he were that man himself, and he won't be ashamed of that kind of imitation. He'll imitate this good man most when he's acting in a faultless and intelligent manner, but he'll do so less, and with more reluctance, when the good man is upset by disease, sexual passion, drunkenness, or some other misfortune. When he comes upon a character unworthy of himself, however, he'll be unwilling to make himself seriously resemble that inferior character -- except perhaps for a brief period in which he's doing something good. Rather he'll be ashamed to do something like that, both because he's unpracticed in the imitation of such people and because he can't stand to shape and mould himself according to a worse pattern. He despises this in his mind, unless it's just done in play.